One of my aunts told me this once:
When my children were kids, your uncle and I used to say, “when X or Y happens, then all will be good”. Today, more than two decades after, when I look back to that moment, I see that those experiences were actually some of the most beautiful moments of my life. I don’t know what we were waiting for. Problems, ups and downs, they will always be there, but what we may forget is to appreciate the other things that we actually have.
Aunt
Today, when I see so many things changing in our day to day life and also, when I listen to several of my elderly friends share how they feel as they see how their body, memory, friends and mind slowly vanish, I try to remember my aunt’s words.
Her words tell me, life will always have problems, loss, mistakes, outcomes different from what you expected, from what you planned, from what you hoped. But, understanding that this is what being alive gifts, would make those situations less painful, more sweet and fruitful.
Much of human suffering comes when expectations are different than what actually is. Given this, if one understood that life includes mishaps, which will happen to everyone*, at least one would avoid the pain that comes from unmet expectations. Not only this, knowing that we are not the only person to whom this happens would give us more hope, understanding, self-care and strength to overcome what may. Life is not about getting a hand of five aces, instead, is about what you keep doing with the cards you keep being handed.