Category: On

On Joy

“Joy is not a luxury, it is not a privilege. It is a resilience-giving, life-giving birthright and we can’t call forth in the world something we don’t believe in and embody…and it is as powerful as anger.”
Krista Tippett
“If writing an article brings you closer to God, he said, `it is good sadhana (spiritual work), which is all there really is’.”
Sara Davidson

On Silence and Words

“Deep listening is at the foundation of Right Speech [mature or wise speech]. If we cannot listen mindfully, we cannot practice Right Speech. No matter what we say, it will not be mindful, because we’ll be speaking only our own ideas not in response to the other person…When communication is cut off, we all suffer. When no one listens to us or understands us, we become like a bomb ready to explode… When we listen with our whole being, we can defuse a lot of bombs.”

In his book, The heart of the Buddha’s teaching, Thich Nhat Hanh reflects on the importance of choosing wisely our silence and words, “Right Speech”. Given the power that they have to destroy or to heal:

“For example, a family member may suffer very much. No one in the family has been able to sit quietly and listen to him or her. If there is someone capable of sitting calmly and listening with his or her hear for one hour, the other person will feel a great relief from his suffering.”

He develops on the qualities of silence that can bring healing:

“Kwan Yin, a person who has a great capacity of listening with compassion and true presence… Listening like that is not to judge, criticize, condemn, or evaluate, but to listen with the single purpose in mind to help the other person suffer less.”

“`I am listening to him not only because I want to know what is inside him or to give him advice. I am listening to him just because I want to relieve his suffering.’ That is compassionate listening…If you don’t feel that you can continue to listen in this way, ask your friend, `Dear one, can we continue in a few days?’…training oneself to listen with compassion. That is very important, a great gift.”

Then, reflecting on the words component of speech, Thich Nhat Hanh highlights the importance of using caring words when telling the truth and being aware of the context and person you are speaking to:

“Sometimes we speak clumsily and create internal knots in others. Then we say, `I was just telling the truth.’ It may be the truth, but if our way of speaking causes unnecessary suffering, it is not Right Speech… Words that damage or destroy are not Right Speech.”

“Before you speak, understand the person you are speaking to…so that your speech is `Right’ in both form and content… Of course you have suffered, but the other person has suffered also… When you begin to understand the suffering of the other person, compassion will arise in you, and the language you use will have the power of healing.”

His reflection, is a reminder that communication requires practice and attention, not only to our words, but also to our silence.

On Rejection

The Hymns of the Earth, Poem by St. Catherine of Siena

“I wanted to be a hermit and only hear the hymns
of the earth, and the laughter of the sky,

and the sweet gossip of the creatures on my limbs,
the forests.

I wanted to be a hermit and not see another face
Look upon mine and tell me I was not
all the beauty in this
world.

For so many faces do that –-
cage us.

The wings we have are so fragile
they can break from just
one word, or

a glance void
of love.

I wanted to live in that cloister of
light’s silence

because, is it not true, the heart
is so fragile and shy.”

On Love. Resonating Love.

On Love. Human Love.

“Love, amor, amor es diferente a atracción. Atracción es tu cuerpo indicándote resonancia con esa persona. Es tu cuerpo diciéndote compartimos una frecuencia, una vibración que resuena.”

Love, “amor”, what is love?

Is love physical attraction? 

Attraction is your body telling you this persona and you share a frequency, that your shared frequency or frequencies resonate. 

“In Physics the term `resonance’ refers to the natural tendency of many objects to vibrate more vigorously at some frequencies than at others. The frequencies at which this occurs are called the object’s `resonance frequencies’.

In acoustics great use has been made of a particular kind of resonance, called air resonance. This occurs when the air in a container is made to vibrate and produce a sound.”[1]

In case of human interaction, if two people talk to each other, what would their conversation be about? If their bodies share the same frequency, what would the air in the container produce sounds of? How would they vibrate?

If an angry person joins a conversation for example, would his/her frequency impact how the conversation evolves? Would the new frequency in the conversation lead to the other people to tune into his/her anger?

In the 1850’s Herman Helmholthz designed “Acoustic resonators”, vessels that “only respond to a specific frequency of sound, and would greatly amplify the sound when it was present. 

[…] 

Each resonator was carefully tuned to respond to only a single frequency. For the person using it, the resonance would occur quite suddenly, with an unmistakable amplification of a particular sound.”[1]

And, sound is vibration.

“A sound wave is created as a result of a vibrating object. The vibrating object is the source of the disturbance that moves through the medium…Any object that vibrates will create a sound. The sound could be musical or it could be noisy; but regardless of its quality, the sound wave is created by a vibrating object.

Nearly all objects, when hit or struck or plucked or strummed or somehow disturbed, will vibrate…If you pluck a guitar string, it will begin to vibrate…The frequency or frequency at which an object tends to vibrate with when hit, struck, plucked, strummed or somehow disturbed is known as the natural frequency of the object.”[2]

What affects our natural frequency?

“The speed at which waves move through the strings is dependent upon the properties of the medium.”[2]

For example, in the case of a guitar, the material a string is made of the density and tightness affect the speed of the wave and the length of the strings affect the wavelength when the guitar is strucked. Or, in the case of wind instruments, the speed of a sound waves can be altered by changes in room temperature.

In music, the “role of a musician is to control these variables in order to produce a given frequency from the instrument that is being played[…]to find instruments that possess the ability to vibrate with sets of frequencies that are musically sounding (i.e. mathematically related by simple whole number ratoios) and to vary the length and (if possible) properties to créate the desired sounds.” 

In life, we are both the instrument and the musician, we can choose where to be, with whom and what to engage with given our natural frequencies and based on these natural frequencies we may resonate or not with someone else. 

But, all of this, is attraction, physical attraction or resonance. Is this different than love? 

[1] “Resonance – Smithsonian” https://americanhistory.si.edu/science/resonance.htm 

[2] “Natural Frequency” Sound Waves and Music – Lesson 4 -Resonance and Standing Waves https://physicsclassroom.com/Class/sound/u11I4a.cfm

On Fear and Anger

“Notice how aversion and anger almost always arise as a direct reaction to a threatening or painful situation. If they are not seen clearly and understood they grow into hatred…A fearful situation turns to anger when we can’t admit we are afraid…When fear arises, anger and aversion function as strategies to help us feel safe, to declare our strength and security. In fact, we actually feel insecure and vulnerable, but we cover this fear and vulnerability with anger and aggression…

When a painful or threatening event arises, we can open our eyes to it. When we learn to tolerate our own pain and face our own fears, we will no longer blame and inflict it on others…We can train ourselves to notice the gap between the moments of our experience and the reaction or the response…In a healthy response to pain and fear, we establish awareness before it becomes anger. 

That’s why mindfulness training starts by paying attention to small things, small pains and disappointments. When I start to get into an argument with my wife, if I pay attention I notice that I usually feel hurt or afraid. If I speak to her angrily, she will become defensive and the argument will grow. But if I’m mindful, I can talk about my hurt or fears instead of being lost in anger and blame. Then my wife becomes interested and concerned. Out of this a different and more honest conversation occurs.” – Jack Kornfield, https://jackkornfield.com/fear-and-anger/