Transitions are hard. Changing the soil where you spread your roots brings loss and an ungroundedness… But, eventually, one notices that the beauty you shared with those you left behind accompanies you more than you expect: The Tomato Garden, part III.
We moved homes, so we left most of our Tomato Garden behind, except for two tomato offsprings from our dear cherry tomato friends:
Transplanting Tomato Offsprings
They didn’t do well. The new soil, our business settling our own roots… they dried up. I wasn’t sure if I would see them reapper again, as they did in their previous home. But, once again, this summer, a little volunteer appeared.
Continuation
My life is a little like that, as our life transitions, my experiences, friends, seem to be lost. But, unexpectedly, one discovers they accompany you in new ways:
Colibríes
The Tomato Garden Part 3 — a new road ahead, with beautiful old companions
Three years ago life put a beautiful patch of soil in our home where, fortunately, we decided to plant two little tomato plants. We hadn’t grown herbs, fruits, or vegetables before, but these two little plants survived and flourished in spite of our inexperience. This is the origin of our Tomato Garden.
Tomato Garden
The cherry tomatoes’ sweetness that was offered to us made irresistible caring for them. They grew so much, not only the two plants we originally planted, but also a little volunteer who came with them and arrived to our garden, a “Better Boy” tomato seed.
Volunteer Tomato Plant
Caring for these tomato plants has been so enriching — I started to understand that a plant is not like a human, cutting her stems, leaves, or fruits is not necessarily harmful to them. On the contrary, this is often what prevents them from getting rotten or infested by some of the many little insect creatures I got to meet through this experience.
Another enriching regular little creature I encountered, was the tomato hornworm, which is not actually a worm, but a caterpillar, a quite large caterpillar that loves tomatoes. At the beginning, I considered removing them from the plants, but why should I eat all the tomatoes or prevent them from eating the leaves that would only eventually fall. There was more than plenty for all of us.
Plus, I really enjoyed being surprised when out of the blue I suddenly noticed one of these tomato lovers just in front of me. A little fellow previously lost from my sight given their green camouflage.
Sharing Fruits
The importance of water and the time of the day when one waters and how this differs through the seasons is something one learns when caring for these tomatoes. If I water too little, the plants’ fruits start looking yellowish and pale. If I water all of the plant (leaves and stems) or too late at night, prepare for unexpected insect visitors.
Finally, one learns that in this land tomatoes are not perennial plants. Their lifetime is closer to a year. So, as time passed, I saw them slowly dry up and become thin and brown like a branch… I couldn’t dare to cut them. I just saw them continue their path. Their path led to these visitors, which I called Bowsers (as they were little, spiky and roundish Mario Bros Bowser looking like creatures). They gave me goosebumps and started to spread all over the plant. At this point, I understood it was time to let them go. So, I knelt next to their root and cut them down.
Bowsers Arrive
I thought “Maybe I will plant some tomato plants again next year”, but this didn’t happen, it was not necessary. It turned out that the plants I cut, were not totally gone. As the weather became warmer, little plants started to emerge from under the ground. The little seeds of our two little cherry plants had not left, they were just preparing to restart their life above ground, once again.
Tomato Garden
“In naming the plants who shower us with goodness, we recognize that these are gifts from our plant relatives, manifestations of their generosity, care, and creativity. When we speak of these not as things or products or commodities, but as gifts, the whole relationship changes. I can’t help but gaze at them, cupped like jewels in my hand, and breathe out my gratitude.”
La Biblia fue uno de los libros que más leí al crecer. Bueno, algunos de los libros que la componen, dado que la Biblia es un compendio de textos escritos por diferentes personas a lo largo de milenios.
Textos en la Biblia
El leer la Biblia me dejó claro que a través del tiempo nuestro entendimiento sobre Dios y el cómo las personas deciden vivir su vida acorde a este entendimiento no permanece constante a lo largo de la misma. Estas formas de entender y vivir evolucionan y cambian dentro de la Biblia en estos textos.
Esto es particularmente evidente cuando se comprara el Génesis con los Evangelios. El Génesis es el primer libro en la Biblia. Este describe la historia de la creación y del origen de la gente vista con ojos favorables por Dios, mientras que los Evangelios describen la vida de Jesús y su mensaje. En el libro del Génesis Dios es considerado como un ser lleno de rabia y enojo, falto de misericordia. Un contraste enorme con el entendimiento sobre Dios después del mensaje de Jesús, en el cuál Dios no es un ser que busca la venganza, sino quien ofrece amor a todos y perdón.
Al observar estas diferencias dentro de los mismos textos que componen la Biblia y al ver la insistencia en creer que se deben seguir de forma literal, me pregunto, ¿no habría nuestra comprensión de seguir evolucionando después de casi 2 mil años desde que se termino de escribir el último texto que la componen (el libro de las Revelaciones)? Milenios en los que hemos tenido tiempo de reflexionar sobre el mensaje de amor que compartío Jesús, un mensaje de aceptación, de un Dios bondadoso, misericordioso.
Al observar estas diferencias dentro de los mismos textos que componen la Biblia y al ver la insistencia de muchos en creer que se deben seguir de forma literal lo que en esta se dice, me pregunto, hoy, dado todo lo que hemos aprendido, vivido, ¿por qué deberíamos de vivir hoy igual como vivían en la época del Génesis o en la del libro de las Revelaciones (conocido también como Apocalipsis), escrito durante las persecuciones Romanas? ¿no habría nuestra comprensión de seguir evolucionando después de casi 2 mil años desde que se termino de escribir el último texto que la componen (el libro de las Revelaciones)? Milenios en los que hemos tenido tiempo de reflexionar sobre el mensaje de amor que compartío Jesús, un mensaje de aceptación, de un Dios bondadoso, misericordioso.
“Entre tanto un nuevo mandamiento os doy, y es: Que os améis unos a otros; y que del modo que yo os he amado a vosotros, así también os améis recíprocamente. Por aquí conocerán todos que sois mis discípulos, si os tenéis un tal amor unos a otros.” – Jesús dice a sus discípulos durante la última cena. Evangelio según San Juan Capítulo XIII.
Querido Dios by Nimo Patel feat. Nicco [Traducción de Colibrí Mágico]
Querido Dios, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa.
Querido Dios, al crecer siempre recé diciendo tu nombre por lo menos 100 veces al día.
No te había conocido, no te podía ver, pero tenía mucha fe.
Gracias a mamá y papá por habernos hablado de ti desde chicos
Cuando crecí un poco, también lo hizo mi mente, la curiosidad convirtió mi escepticismo eventualmente. Comencé a cuestionar todos los rituales y pequeñas rimas.
De los libros sagrados decían que escribiste todas y cada una de sus líneas, pero como podía ser, pero eso me decían y aunque no estaba 100% seguro, confié en ellos. Así que me arrodillé, senté en silencio e incluso leí. Fui al templo y recé todas las noches antes de dormir.
Viendo hacia atrás no sabía en realidad que significaba realmente “rezar”. Me imagino cerrar mis ojos y hacer lo que los otros hacían, pidiendo cosas, como cualquier otro niño. Que interesante la relación que tu y yo teníamos.
Toma mi mano, toma mi mano, para que no camine solo. Llamo tu nombre, llamo tu nombre, no sé hacia dónde ir. Encontré mi camino, encontré mi camino, encontré mi camino hacia mi hogar y ahora soy tuyo.
Cuando llegué a la universidad recé mucho menos, excepto antes de comer, entendible, supongo. Ve no me era claro desde el principio quién eras realmente. Luego vi y escuché tanto miedo y todo se nubló. Creí que la religión debía ser pura y no mala, cuando vi a las personas usar tu nombre en vano, todo esto me entristecio.
Y eso era sólo el principio, mucho peor fue ver la segregación templos, mezquitas, iglesias, sinagogas, y tantas congregaciones distintas. Todas hablaban de tus evangelios, incluso colgaban tus pinturas, pero detrás de tu nombre, en lo obscuro asesinaban y difamaban. En lugar de amor, Dios, intolerancia, avaricia es lo que ha prevalecido. Santificando el marketing, pero vacíos en la fe.
Me harté, Dios, realmente no podía entender como todos tus hijos en tu nombre podrían atreverse a traicionar. Así que mantuve mi distancia y recé para que algún día conciliaras todo en mi corazón y me explicaras.
Toma mi mano, toma mi mano, para que no camine solo. Llamo tu nombre, llamo tu nombre, no sé hacia dónde ir. Encontré mi camino, encontré mi camino, encontré mi camino hacia mi hogar y ahora soy tuyo.
Cuando llegue a los treinta, Dios, las nubes comenzaron a despejarse. Las repuestas comenzaron a llegar y creo que escuchaste mi llamada, comenzaste a aparecer en todo, no sólo cuando había caído. Sino en cada pequeña bendición, comencé a sentirlo todo. El amor, la paciencia, al ángel en mi, al demonio en mi. Como todos somos pecadores y caemos, pero nos levantamos para convertirnos en santos. La humildad, la gracia, el aceptar todos los cambios. De pronto ser bondadoso comenzo a sentirse raro. Solías ser una estatua para mí, pero ya no más. Te veo más en el mundo que dentro de esas paredes, que dentro de esas puertas. Eres la madre naturaleza, el sol, el agua y la tierra. Mi enemigo, mi mejor amigo, lo que me pega más dentro. Más que nada eres mi maestro, para convertirme en una mejor alma. Que cae y se levanta de forma que en cada instante siga creciendo. Tu estás en mi, Dios, eres mi raíz más profunda. De la obscuridad a la luz, eres mi verdad interior.
Toma mi mano, toma mi mano, para que no camine solo. Llamo tu nombre, llamo tu nombre, no sé hacia dónde ir. Encontré mi camino, encontré mi camino, encontré mi camino hacia mi hogar y ahora soy tuyo.
Querido Dios, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa.
Querido Dios, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa.
Querido Dios, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa.
Querido Dios, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa, encontré mi camino de regreso a casa
To hatch a crow, a black rainbow Bent in emptiness over emptiness But flying.
Ted Hughes, Crow: From the Life and Songs of the Crow (Faber and Faber, 1970)
As spring emerges, many beings start getting prepared for their new fledglings. Close by, two of these creatures have begun building a nest. Up and down they fly, building slowly, the little home for their new baby crows.
Talking with a friend about crows, she pointed out that they have begun dive-bombing people walking by. Maybe they are confused and think that the passersby’s hair are twigs, which they would like to use for their nest, I suggested. She didn’t sound very convinced with my theory.
Trying to figure out if my guess was accurate, I read a little about the reason crows chase people around during these months. What I found as an explanation for their behavior, was somewhat related to my nest hypothesis, but not exactly.
Crows during breeding season defend their nests from potential predators, protecting the area around their nest. Hence, the diving and chasing of humans is not to find twigs, but to scare people and other animals away from their future crow babies.
In an interview, Wayne Goodey, a Zoologist, specialist in animal behavior, when asked about crows dive-bombing during spring said:
“The crows are not targeting you, or hate you… all they want to do is give you a reason to move on. If you keep moving once they chase you, you have no problem at all.”
It is funny and makes animal-sense. I share with you some pictures of my two busy friends building their new home:
I wanted to share, “Planting Seeds”, a song from the Empty Hands album by Nimo and Daniel Nahmod.
PLANTING SEEDS: A Song of Life | Empty Hands Music | nimo feat. daniel nahmod
Nimo’ album is a free gift for anyone that would like to download it. Through their music they transmit their faith in our human capacity for love, gratitude and to be kind. The songs’ lyrics and videos resonated with me and wanted to share them with you all. If you would like to read more about Nimo’s story and videos here is their website:
I spent a long time running, I never knew then what I know I know now, that the fruits they’re always coming, but you can’t go around just knocking them down.
It takes a long time to show, you plant the seeds then and you look at them now, but the roots are always growing, no matter if I am there or never around…
Planting Seeds: A song of life, Nimo and Daniel Nahmod
“A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.”
It is easy to call for wise, loving and caring action when those choices need to be made by other people than the people or identities we feel closest to us. But what happens when the letting go or risks of these choices have to be made or taken by those we hold nearest to us?
How to widen that circle of compassion for those we feel some aversion towards and call for accountability from those we care about or from the groups/labels we identify with?
How about gifting those we feel aversion towards the understanding we give to those nearest to us and seeing the similarities between the situations we experience and those experienced by the people we feel aversion towards.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”. – Albert Einstein
What if the words and concepts we use to classify X vs Y change to include both? What if instead of Russia vs Ukraine, or US vs Vietnam, we moved to a higher dimension called planet, where countries wouldn’t exist? What if we were to think ourselves as global citizens interconnected through our food, energy, water, supply chains, nickel, semiconductors, social media? Under this perspective, would bombing a city, destroying the fields, the infrastructure, the people that build, maintain and plow them make any sense?
What if after we remove the country labels we ask what is behind the actions of the few people from that part of the globe choosing to do this? Also, as we ask this, assume no one is 100% evil, as none of us is. We all have a Buddha nature, a soul. If we saw those nearest to us in those we feel self-righteous about and asked why is this happening? What is behind this? How can we prevent this from coming to be, once again? Maybe this widened circle of compassion and higher level perspective could allow us to pull out what is behind from its root.
“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
One of the new words that recently entered my vocabulary was Limerence. Limerence is described by Dorothy Tennov, the psychologist who coined the term, as
“an uncontrollable, biologically determined, inherently irrational, instinct-like reaction” of infatuation towards another person, with one of its most crucial features being “its intrusiveness, its invasion of consciousness against our will.” ignited by “the uncertainty or doubt, or even some threat to reciprocation”. [Love and Limerence]
This term pieces out love in a more nuanced way. Creating a difference between limerence and other kinds of love based on the emotional and biological obsession created by the uncertainty of the reciprocation in this type of love.
The limerent emotional state is characterized by intrusive thoughts and obsession about the person of infatuation. Thoughts that get fed by interactions in the remote realm of possibility:
“Limerence can live a long life sustained by crumbs. Indeed, overfeeding is perhaps the best way to end it.”
The other part of limerence that I found illuminating was the fact that the limerent obsessive state may even make you blind to the person you feel you love. “Limerence is, above all else, mental activity. It is an interpretation of events, rather than the events themselves. You admire, you are physically attracted, you see, or think you see (or deem it possible to see under “suitable” conditions)”. You may feel you love the person but in this limerent state, you may even be unable to really see or understand the person you “love”. And, as Thay says, “Without understanding, your love is not true love.”
Besides reminding me of my younger self, this concept brought to mind this 2002 song [English Lyrics]:
Obsesión – Aventura ft. Romeo Santos
I recommend reading Maria Popova’s (The Marginalian) post on Love and Limerence if this type of love caught your attention:
Cuando mis hijos aún eran niños, yo y tu tío solíamos pensar “una vez que esto o aquello suceda entonces estaremos bien”. Ahora, más de dos décadas después, mirando atrás, pienso que esos momentos eran de echo los más bonitos. No sé que esperábamos. Los problemas, subidas y bajadas, siempre estarán ahí, pero muchas veces se nos olvida apreciar lo que sí hay.
Tía
Hoy, cuando veo tantos cambios sucediendo en nuestro día a día y al escuchar a varios de mis amigos adultos mayores cuando comparten su sentir al ver como poco a poco su cuerpo, su memoria, sus amigos y sus facultades dejan de estar ahí, intento recordar las palabras de mi tía.
En sus palabras leo que en la vida siempre habrá problemas, tropiezos, pérdidas, cosas que no son lo que deseabas, lo que planeabas. Que el aceptar que esto es parte de lo que te regala la vida haría esos momentos menos dolorosos y más dulces y fructíferos.
Mucho del sufrimiento en el ser humano surge cuando las expectativas difieren de lo que es, entonces, por lo menos al entender que la vida incluye desazones y que esto es algo que le pasa a todos*, al menos se evitaría el dolor que proviene de las expectativas no cumplidas. No sólo eso. Cuando sucedan, el saber que no soy sólo yo, mi error, mi infortunio o un castigo divino, nos dará mucha más confianza, fuerza y dulzura con uno mismo para sobreponernos. La vida no se trata de tener una mano con puros ases, sino más bien, qué vas haciendo conforme con lo que las cartas de la vida te van dando.
Llegaremos a tiempo (Rosana)
* mínimo nos sucederá que nuestro cuerpo envejezca en el caso de que seas afortunado y algo no te suceda antes.
When my children were kids, your uncle and I used to say, “when X or Y happens, then all will be good”. Today, more than two decades after, when I look back to that moment, I see that those experiences were actually some of the most beautiful moments of my life. I don’t know what we were waiting for. Problems, ups and downs, they will always be there, but what we may forget is to appreciate the other things that we actually have.
Aunt
Today, when I see so many things changing in our day to day life and also, when I listen to several of my elderly friends share how they feel as they see how their body, memory, friends and mind slowly vanish, I try to remember my aunt’s words.
Her words tell me, life will always have problems, loss, mistakes, outcomes different from what you expected, from what you planned, from what you hoped. But, understanding that this is what being alive gifts, would make those situations less painful, more sweet and fruitful.
Much of human suffering comes when expectations are different than what actually is. Given this, if one understood that life includes mishaps, which will happen to everyone*, at least one would avoid the pain that comes from unmet expectations. Not only this, knowing that we are not the only person to whom this happens would give us more hope, understanding, self-care and strength to overcome what may. Life is not about getting a hand of five aces, instead, is about what you keep doing with the cards you keep being handed.
